Preparing older siblings for new baby with bilateral A/M

[Heather L W]

Hi- I'm interested in reading what other parents/siblings have experienced in this area.

I have 2 children, a boy (5 1/2) and a girl (4) and we are expecting our #3 baby late next month. My baby was found to have bilateral A or M (to be checked upon birth). How should my husband and I prepare my kids for when they meet the baby? Should we say beforehand that the baby has no eyes? Should we just let them see and ask questions?

They will also be in an all-day summer camp program at the time of birth.

My family is already unique for this situation- although I'd love to learn if there's other families like mine out there- my husband and I are Deaf, as well as our 5 1/2 year old son who goes to a Deaf school. Our daughter can hear, she's just finishing up pre-school and we don't know where she'll go next year as she's still too young for our school system's kindergarten class due to her birthdate.

There are several people in our community who are deaf/blind, most started out with Usher's Syndrome. We just don't know anyone who was born completely blind. Only recently we learned about another Deaf couple who had a blind hearing son who just graduated from college. We also won't know until birth if our baby is also deaf.

Thanks for any input you can give on introducing older siblings to our new baby.

:::H

[Rosemarie]

Hi
It is very interesting to read about your situation and how you manage to cope with it. You have a very unique family and it is situations like this that help us to learn and grow.
What I have learned out of experience is to always be honest. Explain to your children about the diagnoses of you baby and make them part of the situation, you will not believe how children addapt to a situation while adults are still struggeling to accept the issues in their live. You must remember that if you child is going to be blind but able to hear, it will be important to let him/her listen to music, voices, sounds. It is also very important to introduce your baby to different techtures, food, and toys. A blind person's eyes are sound and touching objects. If your baby is not death, your daughter will play a major role in his/her live because she will be the only person that will be able to communicate in a verbal way with your baby, that is why it is important that they are involved and understand the needs that the baby might have. I hope you all the best and whish you all the happienes that I experienced with my blind child, they are a gift from God.

Originally Posted by Heather L W

Hi- I'm interested in reading what other parents/siblings have experienced in this area.

I have 2 children, a boy (5 1/2) and a girl (4) and we are expecting our #3 baby late next month. My baby was found to have bilateral A or M (to be checked upon birth). How should my husband and I prepare my kids for when they meet the baby? Should we say beforehand that the baby has no eyes? Should we just let them see and ask questions?

They will also be in an all-day summer camp program at the time of birth.

My family is already unique for this situation- although I'd love to learn if there's other families like mine out there- my husband and I are Deaf, as well as our 5 1/2 year old son who goes to a Deaf school. Our daughter can hear, she's just finishing up pre-school and we don't know where she'll go next year as she's still too young for our school system's kindergarten class due to her birthdate.

There are several people in our community who are deaf/blind, most started out with Usher's Syndrome. We just don't know anyone who was born completely blind. Only recently we learned about another Deaf couple who had a blind hearing son who just graduated from college. We also won't know until birth if our baby is also deaf.

Thanks for any input you can give on introducing older siblings to our new baby.

:::H

[Heather L W]

Interesting- I've looked all over, maybe not all over but I cannot find one single recollection of how older siblings were introduced to their little baby sib who has A/M or any other birth defect. Honesty is our family's policy, so should it be for all families. We're more concerned about timing- do we tell them now, do we tell them 1 week before the baby's here, do we tell them when they walk in the room to see the baby? My instinct is to share with them shortly before the baby's here. Are there books to read? Blind people to meet? Games to play, that includes not seeing? What other idea is out there that we can do with our kids before the baby is here?

I also want to mention, whether our baby also deaf or not, our baby will be bilingual. Will be taught spoken English and American Sign Language, just like my normal hearing daughter. Yes, she'll have it easier in case our baby hears. Contrary to assumptions, a Deaf house is not a silent house. If our baby can hear, we know that is the key avenue where language should flow, as well as interacting with Dad and brother using tactile sign language.

Interestingly, the first blind person I ever met also happened to know the manual ASL alphabet! I also happen to have pretty clear speech for a Deaf person; not something to boast about but it is a very, very handy tool. He would spell and I would speak, have an exchange!